


Missing You

by orphan_account



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Angst, F/M, leonard x vanya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 03:37:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20370052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Vanya is with Leonard yet she can't stop imagining that it's Five she's with.





	Missing You

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on the song Missing You by Ingrid Michaelson

She was thinking of _ him _ again. Force of habit. But she just couldn’t help herself. Leonard wrapped his arms tighter around her pulling her closer to him as he kissed down her jaw bone making his way to her neck. “Do you want to go to the bedroom?” He asked and she swore that it was _ his voice. _ She nodded before she could stop herself closing her eyes and pretending it was _ him _ carrying her into his room. 

Even as Lenoard laid her down in his bed she kept her eyes closed and imagined that it was _ him. _ That it was _ his _ sheets that smelled of his cologne not reeked of natural body odor like Leonard did. 

If she kept her eyes close she could truly convince her brain that it was Five here right now. Vanya had always had a very vivid imagination and being able to imagine a different man kissing down her body was no exception. Especially when all she wanted was for it to be a different man. 

When they are done, they both lay side by side, Leonard panting her breath not even hitched. It was never like this with Five. Her and Five would lay in bed and cuddle until she fell asleep. Usually when she would wake up he would be gone. He rose with the sun as he always liked to say. All those years alone has made him rougher around the edges than he used to be, but she still loved him all the same.

It was a slow kind of torture being in love with someone who was incapable of loving you back. Someone so narcissistic and arrogant that they could never love anyone as much as they love themselves. It’s slowly tearing her apart and yet she can’t stop thinking about him.

He’s in every shadow when she’s walking home from work. Every face at the grocery store that she catches a brief glimpse of before they disappear down an aisle. Every car parked at a red light and every face in the crowd when she plays. 

She can’t even turn on the radio without hearing him in every song. Any tv show she watches she sees the two of them in the star crossed lover characters. The only difference is that those characters often find a way to be with each other. Vanya isn’t sure that her and Five will ever figure that out. 

Sometimes she wonders if he misses her as much as she misses him. And then he calls her at two in the morning and she thinks maybe. Yet nothing ever changes. They hook up and she returns home to Leonard as if everything is fine as everything is okay. 

The truth is, he does miss her. Just not in the same way that she misses him. 

Lenonard rolls over in bed and wraps his arms tightly around her from behind. He then presses a kiss to the top of head whispering a few sweet nothings that she doesn't hear as her eyes are already closed imagining that she’s back in Five’s room.

\-----

She tries cleaning. Anything to take her mind off of him. She won’t call him again. At least not after nine at night. They can still be friends but she has to admit that it’s not healthy the way that she views after him. Yet her mind always wanders back to him.

Blaring her music she dusts every single surface in the house until there is not even a spot of dust. Next she takes out her vacuum and vacuums everything in sight to the point where she has to empty the bag in the vacuum. 

She spends all day doing mindless chores and for the most part it works. She doesn't spend all day thinking about his lips on her neck or his hand in hers. For the first time in a long time, she doesn't feel the urge to call him and see if he’s doing anything tonight. All though she has had to stop herself from reaching for the phone a few times solely to hear his voice. 

It all falls apart when she goes to clean under her bed. Most of what she pulls out in garbage over the years that goes straight to the giant trash bag that’s going to have to go out tonight. But then she sees it. One of his plaid shirts that had been discarded one night on her floor. He had searched high and low for it the next day but here it was, tucked underneath her bed hidden from the light of day.

She held it up to her face and it somehow still smelt like him. A fact that caused her little comfort and much displeasure. 

Maybe it was time to move on, she thought as she stood from the floor and went to her closet to grab the shoe box that was marked with the number five containing all of his stuff that he has left here over the course of their affair if you could call it that. Although she’s in a “relationship” with Leonard she didn’t care for him in that way. He was solely a body to which she could reflect her misguided thoughts.

She took the box and the shirt and headed out to her car to go out to his house. She debated turning around several times on the way their but ultimately decided that she needed to do this. It was time to give this, him, up.

When she pulled into his driveway she all of a sudden felt incredibly nervous. What if he had someone here. As far as she knew he didn’t have a girlfriend, but he didn’t know that she had a boyfriend. It tore her up a little to think about him having just some random girl in their. Some blonde girl that he met at a bar or wherever he hangs out. She’s probably much prettier than Vanya could ever dream to be and Five probably didn’t give Vanya a single thought as he-.

She shook her head violently trying to get the image out of her head. This had to stop. She needed to be able to sleep without her dreams being filled with images of him.

Vanya slowly got out of the car grabbing the box of mementos that he had left. She walked up the sidewalk in the dead of the night and softly knocked on the door. After a minute or two she decided that she should just leave, this was a bad idea, he’s probably already asleep as it is two in the morning. She starts to head back to her car when she hears his front door open. “Vanya?” he calls and although his voice couldn't be above a whisper in the quiet night he might as well have screamed it for the whole neighborhood to hear.

In that moment she has two thoughts. Run or stay. She could run back to her car and pretend the whole thing never happened. If he ever were to ask her about it she could lie and say it was someone else or he had simply imagined it. Or she can stay and finally put all these thoughts to rest. She decided to stay.

“Hey.” she said casually. “I was cleaning up my house and wanted to drop of somethings that are yours.” She said it as if it wasn’t weird at all for her to arrive unannounced at two in the morning.

Five noded holding the door open for her to come in and get out of the dropping temperatures that the fall was bringing in. She followed him into his house just now noticing his disheveled appearance. His hair which was usually styled so neatly was sticking every which direction and looked as if he hadn’t shaved in a few days. 

“You know I could’ve just gotten it next time I came over.” Five said as she set down the box on his dining room table which was started with papers. For a moment she was taken back to when they were thirteen year olds and his desk in his room looked the exact same. She remembered his words clear as day as they rang in her mind for nearly seventeen years. “I’ll come back. I would never leave you behind.” but he did.

“About that.” She said looking at the ground trying to find the right words or even get her mouth to say the words out loud. Why couldn't he have been born with the power to read minds instead?

“Van?” Five asked walking closer to her and lifting her chin with his hand. He didn’t drop it, instead held it while his other reached out to caress his check. “Is everything alright.”

“Yeah.” She breathed staring into his emerald green eyes. How could one person have such beautiful eyes? “It is now.” She whispered as he leaned down to kiss her. She wrapped an arm around his neck as the other went to his hair. He sighed against her before breaking the kiss much to her displeasure.

“I need you to break up with him.” Five said pulling completely back as if she had just burnt him.

“What?”

“I need you to break up with Leonard.” 

“How did you know?” She asked dumbfounded. This whole time she had been convinced that he thought this was just a casual hook up. Which it was. Although for her it’s spiralled into something far more dark and sinister than she ever could have imagined.

“I’m not an idiot Van.” He said simply running a hand through his hair. “And I’m not trying to be a jerk or anything. If you want to be with him then be with him. But I need to have all of you. Mornings days and nights. Not just the hours of the day where no one is awake.”

Vanya stared at him completely awestruck. “And if I do we can do this for real?” Five nodded and Vanya nodded back grabbing her keys off of his dining room table. “I’ll call you.” she said and with that she exited his house and headed for car already formulating what she would tell Leonard tomorrow morning over breakfast. 

This would be good. She thought as she turned onto the main street. For once things are looking up.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think this turned out exactly the way I wanted to, but I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing and had a lot of fun writing this...so baby steps lol
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)


End file.
